"Men deeply respect women who apply these 4 rules"

I might be wrong, but you will probably appreciate it when people treat you with respect, when they don't try to walk all over you all the time. That is a place where disrespectful behavior can hurt the most, and that's in our love life. Now, the funny thing is that in our love life, we sometimes cause disrespectful behavior. We really do, and I'll explain why in a minute. Our love life is also often the hardest place to command respect, and we may try it, but we may do it the wrong way, especially because we have feelings for the other person. When we have a lot of feelings for someone, we may become too nice to them. Not just kind, but too nice. We try to please them, we fight for their attention, we try to get them to like us more, we invest way more into the relationship than they do, we forget to prioritize ourselves and our own needs, and so on. And when we do these things, we lose our self-respect, and as a consequence, our attractiveness disappears completely. So let's talk about getting the respect you deserve from a guy, even when you're full of butterflies and when you've fallen really hard for him. My name is Geert, I'm an author. I also use the pen name Brian Knox because that's easier to remember, and you wouldn't believe how many emails I've gotten over the years from women who were not treated with respect by the man they had fallen for, while they had no idea what to do about it. And they tried things like getting mad or threatening to leave him, but then of course sticking around anyway, and other things that are about as useful as trying to melt a block of ice by putting it in the freezer. If you want to command respect, whether that's when you're dating a man or when you're in a relationship with a guy, rule number one is that you cannot make a cat bark like a dog. Meaning, I see some women try to change a man into someone he's absolutely not. A man that's disrespectful in general cannot be turned into a respectful one, for example. That's why I always say, try to look at how he treats other people. Because if a guy is disrespectful to other people, then he's probably not a cat romantically. He may be very attractive to some women, often women who like bad boys, but I promise you, he will take them on one big, never-ending emotional rollercoaster for the entire relationship. And the only one having fun will be him. Now in general, if you want a man you like to respect you in a relationship, or while you're dating him, rule number two is to link the attention you give him to how he treats you, not to your feelings for him. Let's say a woman has a date planned with a man at 7 p.m. and she's on time, but he's not there. 7.30 p.m., he's still not there. Now this is obviously very disrespectful, but not because he's late. More on that in a minute. Now what is she supposed to do here? She can send him a text asking for his estimated time of arrival. Hey, are you on your way? She could send him an angry text message as well, but those are all bad choices that will not command respect. Plus, she's still giving him attention. She could leave without sending him anything, which is the right thing to do here. And again, not because he's late. Can you see what the true problem is here? People are not late without knowing that beforehand. So this guy she had a romantic date with knew way before 7 p.m. that he wasn't going to make it. At 10 past 7, he was probably still playing video games or trying to find his keys between the old pizza boxes on his dinner table. Some with still some pizza in it. He should have called her or texted her. He's not treating her well and the relationship hasn't even started yet. So he doesn't get her attention and she's gone. Now, if he is a good guy and he really couldn't warn her because he was, for example, handing out homemade soup to homeless people, which is often a reason why men are late for a date, or perhaps he was playing volleyball on the beach without having a phone around and he really forgot about the time. Well, then he will make it up to her, which is exactly what Maverick, for example, did in the first Top Gun movie. I don't know if you ever saw Top Gun, the first one, but in that movie, Maverick arrives late at the house of the woman he has a date with because of a volleyball game and she's home, but she doesn't open the door. Of course not. He's late. That's a huge red flag. So Maverick has to go around her house to see if she's still there and he has to put in an additional effort. He gets less attention from her. Always remember, when your attention doesn't come cheap, when people have to be respectful in order to get it from you, then those who like you will fight for your attention and will make it up to you if they've made a mistake. Don't give a second chance to someone who's not trying to earn that chance. Rule number three, stay calm under pressure. It's harder for people to respect us if we easily get angry or if we easily become submissive and way too nice. Both are bad. So let's talk about being submissive first. Many women, for example, know that if they pressure a guy into a relationship, if they act needy, that he will probably run right away while ghosting and ignoring them. Or if he's a kind guy, he might start with the it's not you, it's me speech, but then he will still run. So some women think they have found a solution to fix this and to even prevent this if they want a relationship with a guy. They become submissive. They overcompensate and become way too nice. They know you shouldn't pressure a guy, so they wait at the sidelines. Let me know when you're ready for a relationship. And again, if you're not, I'm happy with this friends with benefits thing or to just keep dating. No pressure. I'll wait. I wouldn't want to scare you away. But then, of course, at the end, the moment comes where they can't hide it anymore, where they snap, where they pressure him, possibly get a bit angry or send him a strange text or email. And then they wonder why he started to ignore them. Let me tell you. First, if you tell a guy that you are interested in a relationship with him and you tell that any way you want and he cannot handle that, then he's not the guy for you. If a guy runs when you tell him you're interested in a relationship with him, then there's nothing you could have said or done differently to change his mind. Being submissive and nice and waiting for him just delays the inevitable. Him starting to ignore you. But the second issue is being submissive. If you want to be treated with respect in a relationship, then you cannot ever be submissive. So that starts the very first date. Now, you don't have to become a dictator calling all the shots either, of course, but you do need to know very well what your end game is, where you want to arrive. Perhaps it's having a relationship, a real relationship. Well, make that clear to him as soon as possible. And if he then does things or says things that prove that he's not going to get you there, lower your attention and interest. And not because you're playing games, but because a guy who cannot get you to where you want is not the right guy for you by definition. If you want a relationship, but he keeps saying things like, well, let's take it slow. You know, a relationship, I just came out of one and so on. Well, bye bye. Take the exit. You're on the wrong highway going nowhere fast. And if he is the right guy for you, then this is the moment where he will get his act together and will start to prove that he's the right guy for you. So stay calm under pressure. Keep your eyes on your destination. If you are hitchhiking and someone stops, but then they tell you they're going in the wrong direction, then it's not a good idea to get into that car, of course. And don't get angry or mad either. I'm sure you've already seen this. A man or a woman that immediately gets angry or very upset when someone does or says anything that they don't like. Well, that kind of kills the mood. It's not fun to be around them then. People in general have a very hard time respecting reactive people that easily get upset or if they have to walk on eggshells around them so they wouldn't get upset. So know what you want. Say what you want in a kind way. And then move on from the men that prove day in and day out they cannot get you there. And if you do that, the right men for you will see your strength, your power, your decisiveness, and they will respect you for it. Always remember, your core values and your boundaries should always be more important than getting more attention from a man you happen to have a lot of feelings for. Rule number four, stand your ground and do that soon. Sometimes you might be on a date with someone and they do something that you don't like, but you brush it off. You may think, well, it's not that bad. I won't say anything. I don't want to appear high maintenance. First, so-called high maintenance or difficult people will attract a lot more lovers than doormats or people who allow others to walk all over them. But the second problem is if you do not stand your ground soon, but you wait and you do it later on, for example, when a relationship has finally started, then your partner will be like, Whoa, what's going on? You are overreacting. And you know what? In all honesty, from his perspective, that's what it truly feels like, of course, because you never said anything before. And now all of a sudden, bam, where's that coming from? But if during the dating stage, you stand your ground and you say, well, this is my boundary. This behavior here is not okay. This is the line in the sand without yelling or getting upset. It's just a firm statement. Then you both learn a very important lesson that will serve you for the rest of that relationship. Because bad men will not care and they will happily walk all over your boundary many times. That's when you take the exit, buh-bye. But good men will respect your boundary and they will respect you for the way you showed it. As you can see, it all revolves around self-respect. And some good questions to ask yourself often to increase your self-respect are, Am I doing this to please him? Am I overcompensating? Am I trying to make up for his lack of effort? Am I doing this because I'm afraid of losing him? And then to change course when needed. And that's it. As always, if you want more, you can go to brianknox.com or to Amazon, where you can find all of my books by typing my pen name, Brian Knox, in the search box. I want to thank you for sticking around until the very end of this video. I love it when you do that. And I'll see you in another video.